Fun times in Oakland again!
This is the season for speculation and rumination. Foolish dreaming is the only remotely positive aspect of Warriors fandom, aside from Oracle’s proximity to decent taco trucks. Today I’m listing the best case scenarios for each pick. Later this week, I’ll chart the doomsday version.
Prime: 22 pts, 9 rebs, 2 blks, 2 stls
We dance at the chance to cheer yet another Kahn botch. Too bad Wes doesn’t fit—at first. Johnson’s arrival prompts new management to finally unload Maggette’s troublesome contract. Lebron has left the Cavs and Gilbert drowns his searing sorrows in replacement scoring. It’s a pure salary dump but it’s the kind Warriors fans welcome. A freed Johnson tears it up alongside Curry, catching alley oops with the greatest of hops. And there is much rejoicing.
DeMarcus Cousins
Prime: 23 pts, 14 rebs, 2 blks, 1 tech
When Sac takes the responsible road, we’re there to ride the rollercoaster. And what a journey we get. Nellie is fired, allowing Cousins to thrive. We revel in the emotional instability of a Cousins-Randolph frontline as they set about putting the fear of God into every sub .500 team. DeMarcus is embraced as Oakland’s beloved antihero, the yin to Curry’s yang.
Prime: 17 pts, 9 rebs, 4 asts
GM shows Pau Gasol flashes and fills the GSW need for one more passer. His shooting opens up space for Curry’s threes and Randolph’s drives. Monroe-Randolph becomes an offense-defense combo for the ages as the young nucleus grows into something Thunder fans would pine for. And Cousins’ stay with the Kings resembles a nuclear plant meltdown, but Vegas is happy to get a new team.
Prime: 17 pts, 11 rebs, 2 blks
AFA gives the Warriors the L’s springy-est, lanky-est, most athletic front court. The Warriors revolutionize NBA basketball, viciously pressing like the 90s Arkansas Razorbacks. Curry stirs the offense, Aminu proves to be our defensive quarterback.
Prime: Actual production
He doesn’t suck! And there is much rejoicing.
Prime: 19 pts, 5 rebs
One-and-dones can be undervalued, count Xavier among the unsung. Henry somehow outplays the other million swingmen en route to a dazzling career as sniper. We’ll have arguments two decades from now on whether Curry “made” Henry, but who cares? Henry was a great pick and we’ll love him for coming through in the clutch.
Prime: 23 pts, 9 rebs, 50% 3pt shooting
Babbit’s game becomes as enjoyable to watch as his name is fun to pronounce. By the sophmore campaign Luke’s drawing Mullin comparisons. He shoots well enough to make us forget that Troy Murphy ever played for the Warriors—quicker than we would have anyway. LB spreads the floor while giving the Warriors desperately needed rebounding. Curry-Babbitt evokes past memories of Hardaway-Mullin.
Prime: 13 pts, 11 rebs, 3 blks
Proves to be the lanky PF who actually worked out, eventually wins DPOY.
Prime: Stays on the floor
Davis performs well enough to make John Hollinger rethink his whole Draft Player Rater.
Of course, the real best case scenario would be to get a great pick who actually spends his prime with the Warriors. Stay tuned…
I would like to see Greg Monroe.. or Wesley Johnson if we could get them, and then Jordan Crawford, Greivis Vasquez for the second round and then get Omar Samhan undrafted.