Not all nicknames are created equal. Some are forced, some are shameless, and others are just plain stupid.
I’m not even against self-proclaimed nicknames the way other people are. As far as I’m concerned, who can capture the essence of yourself better than yourself?
Every now and then a nickname gets bestowed upon a player, from whatever source, that perfectly illustrates their quintessence, though.
“The Round Mound of Rebound” might be the absolute zenith of basketball nicknames. The only thing Charles Barkley could inhale more ferociously than rebounds is calories.
“The Mailman” is also a fantastic one. Karl Malone delivered more points than any player in NBA history not named Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
There’s also the added element of mail not being delivered on Sundays, which really set up great jokes for when Malone had bad games those days.
“Air Jordan” is almost mythical at this point, and nobody seemed to be able to glide through the air as gracefully as Michael.
In today’s NBA, I’d put the “Durantula” in that same category. Kevin Durant is so skinny and has such freakishly long arms and legs that he looks like a spider that learned how to stand upright.
So much of what Durant is able to do on the court is because of his lengthiness. It almost becomes unfair when that body type is also blessed with the type of quickness he exhibits.
LeBron James attracts most of the attention for unreal athletic exploits, but Durant is on that same level.
While James amazes fans with his swiftness while possessing such a hulking physique, Durant is also able to do things athletically that don’t seem plausible.
James looks like a tank while powerfully sprinting down the court, and although Durant’s pure strength isn’t on that level, he’s still a freak of nature in his own right.
Players his size and length simply aren’t supposed to be as quick as he is. Despite being officially listed at 6’9’’, people around the league insist that he’s much closer to 7 feet.
That gives him a tremendous size advantage when playing small forward, and he’s not sacrificing any quickness despite his height.
With a wingspan of 7’4.75’’, he’s one of the lengthiest players in the league regardless of position. He not only uses his long arms to block shots, but also disrupt passing lanes.
His defense has improved over time, although he’s not yet at the status of being honored with a spot on an All-Defense Team.
The tools are certainly there, and in the right scheme, Durant has the potential to be able to make that leap.
On the offensive side of the court, Durant’s abilities are nearly unrivaled. During his last 7 seasons in the league, he has won 4 scoring titles.
In his last 8 seasons, Durant hasn’t averaged less than 25 points per game, and there’s so many different ways he can score.
He’s explosive to the hoop, and uses his incredible size to get his shot off in traffic. He’s tremendously difficult to defend.
His outside shooting ability forces teams to really pick their poison with him. He’s a career 38% shooter from 3-point range.
His career free throw percentage is 88.2%, and he hasn’t shot less than 50% from the field in the last 4 seasons.
In 2012-2013, he joined the elusive 50-40-90 club, becoming the youngest to reach that milestone illustrative of a transcendent shooter.
Durant has always been mild mannered off the court, but there’s a tenaciousness he displays during the course of a game indicative of a player absolutely determined to do whatever it takes to win.
Durant was born in Washington D.C., and had the misfortune of having his father walk out on his family as a young child.
However, his father re-entered his life when Durant was a teenager, and the relationship got repaired relative to what it had been.
During this time, Durant was establishing himself as a premier basketball prospect. He played on AAU teams in Maryland with future NBA players like Ty Lawson, Michael Beasley, and Greivis Vasquez.
Durant played for 3 different high schools. He spent 2 years at National Christian Academy, 1 year at Oak Hill Academy, and his senior season at Montrose Christian School.
He went through a gigantic growth spurt during before his senior season, largely explaining how someone his size has skills more common in guards.
Anthony Davis and Kevin Garnett are two players who had similar things happen to them, and if there’s a guy that tall who just seems bizarrely adept at skills big men usually don’t possess, there’s a good chance he grew up small and had to learn to play guard as a result.
Nature then lends a hand and the result is an enormous forward or center who can put the ball on the floor, display good court vision, and even shoot a bit from the perimeter.
He was co-MVP of the 2006 McDonald’s All American Game along with Chase Budinger, and committed to the University of Texas to play college ball.
Durant spent just one season at Texas, but it was a memorable one. He averaged 25.8 points per game, 11.1 rebounds per game, 1.9 steals per game, 1.9 blocks per game, all while shooting 40.4% from 3-point range.
He became the first freshman to win the Naismith College Player of the Year Award, but there were some concerns with him before the 2007 NBA Draft.
He was going to be selected with one of the top two spots, but I remember there were legitimate worries about his lack of bulk.
In hindsight it seems ridiculous, especially with the types of weight facilities and trainers accessible to newly drafted players.
Durant definitely needed to put on weight, though, as some records listed him at just 210 LBS despite his towering height.
Greg Oden was seen as the much safer choice, not only because of Durant’s scrawniness, but that this was still when people within the NBA believed that championship teams had to be built around dominant interior players.
The Trail Blazers will forever regret the decision to take Oden over Durant with the 1st overall pick, but it’s hard to fault them for doing what they did.
Oden didn’t flop because of a talent deficiency, but simply due to injury. Those types of things are hard to foresee.
The SuperSonics “settled” for Durant with the 2nd overall pick, and Durant immediately became a prolific scorer.
During his rookie season, he averaged 20.3 points per game and ended up winning the NBA Rookie of the Year Award.
The SuperSonics relocated to Oklahoma City for the 2007-2008 season and became the Thunder. That was where Durant truly became a superstar.
He made his first All Star game in 2010, and won the scoring title that same season by averaging 30.1 points per game. He became the youngest player to ever win a scoring title at just 22 years old.
He’d go on a streak of 3 consecutive scoring titles, culminating in 2012, when he and the Thunder made the NBA Finals.
The Thunder lost to the Heat 4-1 in that series, though, and James was able to get his first championship before Durant.
Durant is still seeking that first title, and a huge reason why he came to the Warriors is presumably to put himself in the best possible situation to make that dream a reality.
Durant won NBA MVP in 2014, and is actually the last player to win the award not named Stephen Curry. With those two on the roster, the Warriors now boast the MVP winner in each of the past 3 seasons.
That remarkable fact is part of the reason why it has been so difficult for people around the league to wrap their minds around Durant joining the Warriors.
Despite playing alongside elite point guard Russell Westbrook for most of his career in Oklahoma City, Durant was never able to get over the hump and win a championship.
His final game in a Thunder uniform was a game 7 loss to the Warriors in the Western Conference Finals this past season after being ahead in the series 3-1.
He really emphasized the Warriors’ talent and chemistry in explaining why he chose to sign with them as a free agent this offseason.
Very few NBA players have the individual accolades Durant has, but he’s still looking for a championship ring to further distinguish a fantastic career.
He’s arguably the most difficult player to guard in the NBA, and adding him to a Warriors lineup already consisting of Curry, Klay Thompson, and Draymond Green makes the Warriors perhaps the most anticipated squad ever.
The interest generated is probably even bigger than the super team Heat of a few years ago with James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh.
After all, that was only a Big 3, and two of them were new to the franchise. This Warriors team has a Big 4, and 3 of those 4 were core members of an NBA championship team as well as a 73 win team.
Durant makes an already incredible lineup potentially historic, and all eyes are going to be on him to see how he elevates this team.
NO! That’s a ridiculous nickname and demeaning. So small minded.